Why Did I Do It?

Stress fractures in my feet. Numbness in my leg. High blood pressure. High cholesterol and triglycerides. Asthma. Arthritis. Allergies. Anxiety. Couldn’t cut my toenails. Clothes don’t fit right.

Is that enough reasons? I don’t look at myself in the mirror now and I didn’t look at myself in the mirror then. I don’t care how I look to other people. This is about health.

I weighed 215 pounds. I am 5’9″ and small boned. I now currently weigh 155. I hit 147 and my doctor told me to stop losing weight. I’ve settled on purposely gaining weight if I go below 150 and I draw the upper line at 160 where I get strict until I’m between those two goal posts. It isn’t hard to maintain but I have to be firm. I’m finding that I just play at keeping below 160.

Now let’s look at those problems.

The last straw was experiencing great discomfort trying to cut my own toenails. The mass of fat around my gut made it so I had to contort, experience pain, and hold the toenail clippers at the very far edge in order to barely reach and clip my toenails. Honestly that should have been the first straw, but somehow I got fed up and it was the last. I guess I don’t care why. I can cut my toenails easily now.

Stress fractures in my feet. As I gained weight the arches in my feet fell. So I had to get custom arch supports. Beyond that I started getting stress fractures in my feet. I weighed too much, those little bird bones in my feet would get a tiny partial crack, and then I would limp for about three days and stay off my feet. That sucks. I got lighter and that stopped happening.

Numbness in my leg. I don’t understand this one. I do have a bad disc in my back and I guess the extra weight or extra fat somehow put pressure in that area enough to where my one leg would go numb if I was standing for more than about 5 minutes and then it would get weird and then hurt. Dropping the weight cured that and I think this one is a lucky break.

High blood pressure. I had read dropping weight would drop your blood pressure some. My blood pressure was 150/90 with meds. Now after the weight loss my blood pressure is 120/70 without meds. That was reason enough to do it.

Heart disease. I explained this yesterday. My cholesterol did not drop as dramatically as my blood pressure did but my triglycerides — the worse measure — cut squarely in half. Too many carbs in your diet tend to damage your blood vessels and then the damaged areas are patched by your body with cholesterol. So cholesterol numbers don’t mean a damned thing and taking statins to cheat the numbers test doesn’t do anything except damage your organs. No damage to your blood vessels from carbs, no cholesterol buildup in your blood vessels. It’s science.

Asthma and arthritis and allergies. I have issues with all three of these. Allergies trigger the asthma. Correcting my diet by going low carb made these three much better but did not cure them. Much better is really really nice.

Anxiety. I have really bad anxiety. I have ball up into a fetal position and whimper like a sad little puppy anxiety. I nearly have put me in a straight jacket and into a soundproof room so I can scream for hours anxiety. I had chest pains that were so severe and terrifying I had to go to the hospital NOW anxiety. BAD. The diet made that go away. Don’t tell me the diet wasn’t worth doing. For me being better is everything. It’s sanity.

Lastly, try being misshapen and find clothes that fit. I was wearing only sweat pants because I could work with an elastic waistband and drawstring to keep my pants up. 46-inch waist jeans and a belt just didn’t work. Now I’m stuck between a 32 and 34 inch waist. I’m too cheap to find 33 inch waist pants so I wear 34 with a belt and to hell with it.

I look good, I feel good, and without thinking I run when going to fetch something. I didn’t work up to it, but if something I want is a tenth of a mile away and it is not just the perfect temperature outside, I effortlessly run without even knowing I’m doing it. Like a child. I’m 55-and-a-half years old.

I was a physical and emotional wreck that had absolutely nothing to do with my body image or social pressure or wishing I was thin. I was sick and dysfunctional and I fixed it. If you are fat and happy and healthy then god bless you. If you are fat and unhealthy then fix it yourself or get help. As I have time I will talk you through it.

Next time or soon I’ll talk about how I did it.

2 thoughts on “Why Did I Do It?

  1. Thanks for sharing this story. I used to have awful anxiety attacks. I would need to lay down on the floor *at work* or pull over to the side of the road because it literally felt like my heart would pop out of my chest. Then, last summer they hauled me away in an ambulance. Once I stopped, drinking coffee, I never had a panic attack again. I drank coffee all of my life – and then, my body just rebelled. Hm… I don’t know where that came from. I miss coffee. I love this new string of weight loss blogs. They are so rational, so calm. And I generally I hate reading about weight loss because the articles are so often infused with self-hatred and mass hysteria. But this is so light, so calm. I appreciate that.

  2. Did you drink a ton of coffee? You can become sensitized to something. Marijuana in my case, and this is not entirely uncommon. I got high every day, certainly more than once a day, for years. All of a sudden one tiny little hit would cause a panic explosion in me. Overexposure to something, like latex gloves and medical people, can cause a lifelong allergy and severe reaction. I have never ever heard of this happening with coffee. Did you also stop using a certain kind of sweetener or creamer at the same time? I don’t want to encourage you to go on a bad trip, but are you absolutely sure it was the coffee and not something that exclusively went along with the coffee? I am really curious about this.

    The kind of weight and type-2 diabetes I am discussing here is again a long-term abuse of carbs that breaks something in your system and then problems snowball forevermore.

    Wait. Hold on. My wife the nurse is familiar with people becoming sensitized to coffee or caffeine. It’s a thing.

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